I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
