ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
