Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
There are leaves in my underwear?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
