Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
