Well apparently he's into motor boating.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
