So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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