i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Randomize
