Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
