Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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