p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
