Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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