dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
