He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
