last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
