69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
