looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
