Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
