i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Did you just see the Batmobile???
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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