Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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