Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
