My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
