His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
