you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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