I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
