let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
