My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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