Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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