I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
