no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
