Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
