I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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