just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
