Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize