my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
