Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
