he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Randomize
