I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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