Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
