All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
