Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
time to smoke my breakfast
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
