Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
