Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
