you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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