I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
