I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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