How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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