plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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