It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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