I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize
