Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i just google imaged poop.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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