U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
