i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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